Me aged 3 ! I had been being sexually abused since being a baby !

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Poems From The Soul: My Life Alcohol & Drugs !

Poems From The Soul: My Life Alcohol & Drugs !: (If I use the name Mike I mean my biological father, if I say dad I mean my step-dad who has been the most loving, inspirational, patient...

This isnt a poem but a true account of how Alcohol & Drugs affected my life and the people in it.

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

I Am What I Am (Part Two)

I Am What I Am
Part One

I am what I am in all my true glory & this is me & my true story.

In the beginning what I felt where thunderous blows that came from hell,these though turned out to be my signalling bell, to live my life & love again to be to myself my one true friend.

Because heaven sent I am & heaven sent il be, one of Gods creatures that is me.

I cannot remember where it all started, but from myself I emotionally departed.

I cry all day & I cry all night, I live in darkenss I see no light.

My internal grief is so overwhelming, I am drowning in my own confussion, my whole life feels like an illusion.

I cannot think my mind is a muddle & from my eyes pour a continuous puddle.

For out flows my sadness down my face, for in this world I have no place.

I scream & I scream for I want to be heard, yet Im told my feelings are absured.

I fracture I break I fall apart, now is the point my healing must start.
(I wrote this 8yrs ago)

By GeorgieLotte

I have loved & lost ! Gained & given ! From the dust & ashes of life I have risen, to live my life & stand here proud.  To share  my emotions & remove my shroud for this is my story I tell you now.

I Am What I Am

Part Two

Heal  I must & heal I will.

I gave & I gave but  I  didn’t take back, I could  no longer live in a world like that.

I call out in the darkness help me please I’m falling, falling.  Can you hear me calling calling.

I want  not your pity are you insane what I need is a release from my pain.

I’m fractured & broken please help me to mend help me be my one true friend.

A guiding hand is all I need to help me fulfil my destiny.  I want  to be whole not in parts help me mend my splintered heart.

I cannot grow, nor will I blossom if I know not that you care, but bud & flower that I will if I know your there.

I need not a dictator, but one that will listen so in the future dewy mornings I can appreciate all that glistens.

Don’t strip me down to my  core & leave me out there bare &raw, for the monsters to take me on the darkest nights to pleasure themselves with evil plights.

Help me peel back the layers & create my own  understanding , a platform in my memory for me to safely land in.

For I want to capture all that I am & heal myself with mine own gentle hand.   Take away mine pain I know not you can but walk side by side with me hand in hand.

So say this I shall & hear this you will I can do this no longer I WILL make myself stronger.

This story I write my emotions I have given to show other victims not to be guilt ridden.  It’s not selfish to want to be whole just a really important emotional goal.

I want  my  life to  be big & round not light on top or heavy on the bottom.  I want it to be whole not misshapen & forgotten.

For as a child I had no guard I was to small to know your actions where wrong. You made my whole world spin around & around, further away I lost myself with each passing day.

When the spinning stopped & I stood still everything in my world finally felt real, I connected to the pain  & what you had done because until  today you had won.

From the dust &  ashes of life I have risen.

Here I am IV escaped my own prison.

(I wrote this 5yrs ago)

By GeorgieLotte